The Arkansas Vet

I had two Team Roping buddies that loved this story. I have been thinking about them a lot lately and I wanted to pass this story along. This is for Daniel "Strait" Smith & Daniel Clemmons.
I was down in Southwestern Arkansas at a college rodeo. When your Team Roping in college rodeo, you get two runs with two different partners. My first partner missed, however my second partner did not fail me. We had a fast enough run to make it to the short go on Saturday night.
Now on Friday night of every college rodeo, there is a knock down, drag out party somewhere. In this case, the county in Arkansas we were in was dry, so this meant we were going to have to go into Louisiana. While we were getting ready to go I noticed my horse, Ole Roper, didn't appear to be feeling 100%. I fetched him up some feed, but he was not interested. This was bad! Roper never missed an opportunity to fatten himself up!
Plans for the Louisiana party had to be put on hold. The partner who couldn't hit the broad side of the barn that weekend, didn't even offer to help me. The last I saw of him that night, was tail lights on a dually, headed south.
I did find my other partner and between the both of us we found a phone number of a local vet. Now to this medical expert's defense, it was Friday night around 10 o'clock when I called.
"Hello. This is Dr. John." he said in a slurred voice.
"Yeah. My name is Matt Carroll. I'm down here for the college rodeo. Sorry it's so late, but we just finished up the performance round." I responded in a rush.
"No worries. What can I help ya' with?" he said.
"Well I got a 9 year old Quarter Horse here. He ain't acting right. Almost colicy...but not." I said as if I could diagnose.
"Sounds bad. I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm just up the road." CLICK as he hung up the phone.
A little confused, but feeling a little more comforted, I went back to my horse and roping partner. I told him that the vet was on the way. Thirty minutes later, my partner and myself were brushing Roper down. The sound that caught our attention first could be compared to a bucket of horse shoes being thrown down a flight of stairs. Coming into the arena parking lot, was a rust brown pickup, with a loosely attached vet box on the back. The truck had on the flashers, but only had one head light. At some point, the decal on the side that I assume said Really Good Vet Service, had fallen off, leaving the paint an off color from the already off colored truck.
He came to a sliding stop beside our trailer. Despite the dust catching up to the truck, we could see the older gentleman finishing off what we first thought was coffee.
He hopped out of the truck with his empty travel coffee mug and said "Evening fellers!" as he made his way towards the back of the truck. He pulled up the lever on the tailgate with one hand, and banged on the broken latch with the other. The tailgate fell open with a thud. He reached into his aging vet box and pulled out a stethoscope, a bottle of Long Island Ice Tea Mix, a thermometer, a bottle of Sweet and Sour, some injectable cattle wormer, and some Coca Cola.
"You boys win any money today?" He asked as he mixed himself a Long Island Ice Tea.
"Well we made the short go, so maybe we will win some tomorrow."
He grabbed the thermometer and stethoscope and proceeded to check out Roper.
"Did he eat good today?" he asked.
"Yes sir. Just like normal."
"Well we'll go ahead and give him a shot to make his guts relax and I'll go ahead and give him some mineral oil to help lubricate his insides." he said.
He proceeded to pour gallons of mineral down poor Roper's throat, only to follow by one of the
most violent pricks of a needle you've ever seen.
"When's the last time you wormed em'?" he inquired.
"Well. I guess a couple months ago. He is probably coming due for another round."
To my amazement, he went back to his truck. He finished off his drink, grabbed up the injectable cattle wormer, drew up a syringe full, and slammed Roper on the other side of the neck.
"Welp, that right there ought to cover it." he said as he rubbed Roper's head and looked into his eyes.
"Hold it a second boys. When's the last time this horse slept?" he asked.
"I guess it was last night."
"Well, did he sleep right here or did you let him lay down?"
"Well he was tied right there last night, if that's what your asking."
He seemed to smile in the most evil, drunk way.
"TURN EM' LOOSE!" He remarked.
I stared at him for a second, then spoke up "Come Again?"
This time he was nearly in a yell " R----E----M! TURN EM' LOOSE!"
I thought this must be some terrible disease that he has discovered, and it must be remarkably dangerous. That is why we must turn him loose...right?
The ole vet, tired of waiting, reached over and unsnapped Roper's halter. I was a little worried, but to my amazement Roper walked about three feet, and laid down. He immediately went to sleep.
The vet started walking back to his truck. He opened the creaky door, sat down and spelled out loud again "R----E----M! Rapid Eye Movement! Your ole' horse needed to sleep! HA! Ain't as bad as you thought?" he spoke rhetorically as he wrote out a bill.
Now that weekend we did win some money. Around $300. However when that ole vet handed me the bill for $296 for cattle wormer, 3 gallons of mineral oil, emergency calls, etc.
I looked him dead in the eye and said "ALL THIS TO TELL ME MY HORSE WAS SLEEPY?!?!"
What a weekend!